I don’t like second drafts. I never have. In all my lit classes, it was always the worst part (besides group discussions). I hate going back to look at that “ill-formed offspring of my feeble brain”. To see all of my mistakes, all my original word choice, all my stumbling thoughts? It’s a little piece of misery. Maybe that’s why I enjoy blogging. When I write here, it’s virtually all rough draft stuff. I don’t have to labor over it, wallowing through the warts and scuffs. I rarely go back and edit unless there’s a spelling mistake or a grammar spoof. This is a safe place. Rough drafts are safe. But they’re rough.
I’ve never been a perfectionist. In fact, perfectionists sort of annoy me. I’ve always been a B-average student and I’m cool with that. The only time I really push myself to excellence is when I’m interested in the subject material or when I get a bad grade in a class I love. Then, I just get angry and want to get back at the teacher by studying and securing that A. That’ll show ‘em.
But I hate being where I’m at. I always feel I should be better than who I am, than what I am. But to do better means you have to take a long look at where you’re at and change. That’s why I hate doing second drafts. I recognize the need to fix a bit of writing, but to change and polish it means I have to 1.) look at my mistakes and 2.) apply effort to fix those mistakes. It’s all scary pain.
I don’t think God minds looking at rough drafts. I don’t think he has a problem with revisions. Ephesians 2 calls us God’s poems. We are his workmanship. In 1 Corinthians, we’re called “new creations”. We are walking revisions. And the glorious, fun, messy, frustrating thing about loving Jesus is that we are always being revised and we are always revising ourselves.
It’s this mysterious pull and tug, this wacky tangle called sanctification. We work, but God works in us. God works in us both to will and to work, but we bear responsibility for our own effort (don’t confuse effort with earning). Every day, God is renewing us and pushing us closer to the image of his son. Every morning, we wake up as rough drafts. We’re closer than where we were yesterday, but we’re not yet made perfect.
God is the Great Editor. He lovingly applies white-out to our sins. He rewrites our words into his own vocabulary of love, while graciously maintaining our own unique styles. He gives us a new title and a new thesis. But here’s the best part: he’s already written the ending. We just need to get there. And he’ll be revising us, draft after draft, until we’re complete.
Thank God for rough drafts. Thank God for revision. Thank God for grace.
